Hates Me


Not entirely what these sort of posts are supposed to be about, but I didn’t really have any true “A-HA” moments this month, and I didn’t want to start a new one without hitting all the Pagan Insights Project prompts at least once. Between my dad being up visiting and work, it’s been a bit of a crazy month, so I haven’t had a whole lot of time to focus on much else for the last couple weeks. However this is at least somewhat related to my current path, so figured it could count – just this once.

What I have discovered this month is that does not want me to own a copy of Rudiments of Runelore by Stephen Pollington. Twice now I’ve ordered it (the first time actually back in April), and it was showing “in stock” both times. However in both cases it’s taken them so long to ship it, that it went out of stock while waiting.  The first time I threw a big fit, and they actually credited my account for the difference it was going to cost me to buy from someone else. However while I was deciding where else to get it from, Amazon showed that they had it back in stock, so I ordered it again. Then waited… and waited… and waited… and again still hadn’t shipped. Finally got a message yesterday saying that it had been canceled again because it had gone out of stock.

SO WHY THE FUCK DOES AMAZON KEEP NOTING IT AS “IN STOCK”, IF THEY ARE NOT GOING TO ACTUALLY CARRY IT!!!!! (or ship it in a timely manner – and yes, I am just a bit cranky over the whole thing XD)

It really wouldn’t be such an issue, but when they list it, the price is WAY less than what everyone else has it for, and as someone who doesn’t have a whole lot of $$, clearly I don’t want to pay a crapton of money for the book if I don’t have to. I feel like they are just playing some sort of cruel joke on me, and at this point I think I’m rather done playing along. Not cool… not cool at all!!



A Beautiful Moon & Some Music To Match

I meant to do this more around the time I actually took the pic, but got a bit sidetracked with some other things, but better late than never.

Post A Pic:

Supermoon – well almost as it was taken on the night before the full moon. I’m glad I got the shot when I did though, because (as is rather par for the course around Sabbat time here) it was overcast and raining for the next couple of days.


Musical Musings:

Fittingly, if we are looking at a beautiful moon, then music about the moon would be the most appropriate choice as well. I stumbled across this song not too long ago, and really liked it, and would encourage everyone to check out Omnia. They are a Pagan folk band that has been around for quite a while actually. Some of it’s a bit hit or miss though, I was excited to see that they had a song about Lughnasadh, however that particular one gave me an almost insta-migrane (which is very unfortunate, since it’s one of my favorite Sabbats). Overall though, they do have some nice music, so still worth giving a listen.

(I) Introducing Oneself to the Gods

I’ve noticed that there are quite a number of books out there, such as the Farrar’s books “The Witches’ God: Lord of the Dance and “The Witches’ Goddess: The Feminine Principle of Divinity, that often suggest just plopping down and introducing yourself to random Gods and Goddesses – just to get to know them. While these are both great books for getting to know more about the various attributes that a particular God or Goddess can exhibit, the idea of just calling on a particular God or Goddess out of the blue, is disconcerting to say the least. I fully admit I about fell out of my chair, in the chapter about Loki, when they made such a suggestion.

While I understand completely that Loki is not the “evil” God that many make him out to be, he is still one not to be taken lightly, and it’s generally not a good idea to bring oneself (purposefully) to his attention, unless one is prepared to deal with the bits of chaos he is likely to bring along with him. This is something that is true for any number of Gods and Goddesses, even ones that are generally considered benign. So I just can’t quite wrap my head around the idea that so many authors seem to think that it is ok to advise new practitioners to just jump right in like that – well before they have had any opportunity to understand the potential consequences of such an action.

Recently, as mentioned in my previous post, I was preparing to introduce myself to Odinn. To be fair it didn’t go nearly as bad as I thought it would, but the potential was there. Which is why it is important to know and understand who you are introducing yourself to. Just randomly showing up on someone’s doorstep, and saying “hey… wanna hang for a bit?”, not always going to go over very well. I don’t know about anyone else, but I really dislike it when people just drop by, especially people that I don’t know.

So what should you do if you feel that you are ready to get to know a particular God or Goddess on more intimate terms?

  • The first thing is research – read all (or as much of) the available myths/lore as possible. Find out if there are particular items or foods/drinks associated with said deity, so that when it comes time, you can properly represent them, and have an offering that you know they might like. Make sure that you have a good idea of the customs that are appropriate to said deity as well, – such as purity standards (like the ones required within Kemeticism).
  • Once you feel you have exhausted the academic route, take some time to really think about the potential consequences of bringing yourself to the attention of a God. In many cases one may do an intro ritual (for lack of a better word, though it may not necessarily be that formal), and not much will happen – in other cases it can have profound, life changing consequences. Be absolutely sure that you are ready whichever occurs – as each can be just as devastating, if unprepared. Being unexpectedly claimed by a God or Goddess can be a scary thing, however the same is true if one attempts contact and said deity ignores you completely. It can leave you wondering about your path, and how to move on, especially if one truly felt that there was a connection to be made.

Once you are ready, the process itself is fairly simply – though you can make it as formal or informal as you like. Some will go with more of a guided meditation type exercise, and others will have a full on ritual. The choice is entirely personal, and really it’s whatever feels most comfortable to you. For me it was a matter of a candle, a chant and a bottle of mead to share. For others it may be more involved, the key is that it comes from your heart, and is sincere. You don’t want to approach the Gods under false pretenses, or with a lack of humility, or humbleness, for in doing so you would definitely be starting out on the wrong foot. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be having to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life, for showing such a lack of respect to the Gods – and if ever there was a time for making a good “first impression”, this is it!

IYOW: The Fear Factor

I came to the realization last night that I’m afraid. I’m rather comfy in the spot that I am in, and even if my practices are a bit lax of late, that’s been working rather well for me in the overall hectic, crazy scheme of my life. So to invite any sort of change into that, is a bit daunting to think about, to say the very least.

My primary path has almost always been Wicca inspired, Eclectic Witchcraft, and despite the fact that actual initiation into Wicca proper is likely never to happen – due to a variety of factors, as I mentioned above, I’m quite comfortable there. I’ve had an avid interest in Heathenry for the last couple years, but it’s been mostly on an academic level rather than anything I was looking to actively practice, though it’s entirely possible that certain Gods have been nudging in that direction for a while.

In those academic pursuits, I’ve studied the Runes off and on over the years, but never with any serious intent. However recently a study group was formed by a friend, and it seemed like a good opportunity to make a more concentrated effort into doing it properly for once. Part of doing it properly of course, includes introducing oneself to Odinn – as he is the one who won the Runes for us, and it’s generally considered good manners to (at the very least) acknowledge him, and the sacrifice he made, when one is looking to study them.

So I bought the mead, and have a general idea of things to do for honoring him, and having a bit of a “hello” chat, and yet I kept putting it off (though to be fair when I was going to do it last week, I really was not feeling well), but since then it’s seemed like an exercise in procrastination at it’s best. It finally hit me last night as I was falling asleep, that it’s my own fears that are holding me back.  The fear that when I do sit down to chat, that nothing will happen, that I will be ignored.  Or worse that he will answer, and in answering, will grasp me firmly to him, and claim me as his own – thus taking me from that comfy little spot that I am in, and thrusting me heartily onto an unknown path, that I’m not entirely sure that I’m ready to take.

Yes… I am afraid, almost shaking in my boots afraid (ok – I don’t wear boots, or shoes most of the time for that matter, but you get the picture XD). However now that I am aware, and have acknowledged that it exists, I am determined to own up to this fear, and face it… on shaky, unsteady legs if I have to. I can accept no less for myself.

(H) Hexes

So… the other day, after about 40 years of allowing it to be used freely among the Pagan community, Z. Budapest decided to reclaim her chant “We All Come From The Goddess”, and request that others refrain from infringing on her copyright and more importantly stop altering it, especially in ways that add any sort of “men”/”God” related words to it.

On the surface while it seems a bit silly to be worrying about it at this late date,  it can be understandable that an artist doesn’t want their work to be used without their permission especially for monetary gain. What takes this from mere silliness, to the realm of downright crazy, is the following statement that she made… “You steal my song from now will have consequences. You put men into the song, like God,a hex will be activated.

I actually find it rather ironic in a way, because the Wiki page for Dianic  Witchcraft (which I know, Wiki isn’t always the greatest source) states the following… “Dianic… as “positive path” practitioners do neither manipulative spellwork nor hexing because it goes against the Wiccan Rede; other Dianic witches (notably Zsuzsanna Budapest) do not consider hexing or binding of those who attack women to be wrong.”  So, taking into consideration that the Rede is often misunderstood, and that not everyone follows it anyways (especially Witchcraft Traditions which don’t actually have anything to do with Wicca, despite often being misnamed as such), I really have to ask… was a hex really the first thing that sprang to mind in this case? Did she really feel that adding masculine energies, or adding a verse about the God was an “attack on women”?

To be fair, she has since recanted, stating that the original post was “tongue in cheek”, which I have to admit I sort of doubt, and the general consensus seems to be that at this point she’s just trying to do a bit of damage control after all the backlash from her original statement. In general, I don’t think it matters much what she says anymore, as she’s probably lost what little (if any) respect anyone had left for her, considering all the other messes she’s been stepping into the last couple years. However the story did give me a good starting point to this week’s topics – Hexes.

On a personal level, I’m more or less neutral when it comes to the idea of hexing. Even though I’ve been in some pretty rough situations, I’ve not (as of yet) ever felt the need to put a hex on anyone, but I don’t really have any issue with someone who might do so, if there was proper justification for it. There seems to be this huge… “OMG you can’t do that!!” mentality that is pervasive in Neo-Pagan Traditions, particularly amongst those who believe in some form of the Rede. However as mentioned above, the Rede is probably one of the most misunderstood concepts that has been appropriated from Wicca (I’ll go into much more on that when we get to “R”), and despite many claims to the contrary, it does not actually prohibit hexing, or any other potentially “harmful” actions at all.

It still sort of begs the question though – what actions might justify resorting to hexing? In any magical endeavor (no matter what the purpose), it’s generally advised to do quite a bit of careful consideration before proceeding, and it seems rather clear that Ms Budapest may have missed a step or two in that process before issuing her original statement. Of all the potential ways of resolving that issue (or any issue really), I would think that a hex would be a last resort. The sort of thing, where you’ve maybe tried everything else you can think of – mundane and magical, and nothing else has worked. Especially if one believes in the TFL (Three-Fold Law), or some other form of “what comes around, goes around” – I hesitate to use the word Karma, because it too, is a word that has been very much misappropriated, and really doesn’t quite mean what most people think it means, at least not in the contexts they tend to use it in. Anyways… the point is that if you are wishing ill on someone else, even if it’s for a good reason (or what you might perceive as a good reason), you need to be prepared for, and be willing to take responsibility for the potential consequences of doing so.

Thankfully, Ms Budapest was just joking around (or so she says), but really it’s almost mind boggling to contemplate the consequences if she wasn’t. Assuming that she could have effectively invoked a hex in that way (and there seems to be plenty who doubt that she actually could), can you imagine the accidental harm that could have been done? A song that has been more or less in the public domain (whether it was meant to be or not) for 40 years, that has been regularly added to and altered to suit; a song that many Neo-Pagans probably teach to their children, or that they sing at gatherings, not even knowing who originally sang it, who have potentially never even heard of Z. Budapest, all suddenly hexed because of someone who was having a bit of a rant. What sort of consequences do you think she might have faced, if such a thing had occurred, and do you think she would have accepted any responsibility for her actions? I shudder to think.

(F) Fluffy Bunnies

Another topic that I was really going to try to avoid, mainly because I don’t want to seem like a total negative Nelly all the time. However based on some recent conversations, it became clear that I was going to need an outlet to vent some frustrations. Lucky you!!

Many people will use the term “fluffy” or “fluffy bunny” in connection with any sort of “love and light” Neo-Pagan/New Age beliefs or practices, that tend to focus entirely on the “positive” aspects of Paganism, rather than actually looking at the whole picture and accepting that there is a need for the “positive” and “negative” to maintain the general balance of things. While this isn’t always the most ideal view of things, it’s not really what I think of directly when I think of the term “fluffy”.

It is also often used to describe people who are misinformed, and while this is closer to my own definition (and the definition by which many others that I know tend to go by), there is a distinction that needs to be made. Just being misinformed about something, does not make one “fluffy”. There is a ton of misinformation out there, on a variety of Pagan topics, and realistically one could say that there is more misinformation, than actual good information. So just because someone thought they knew something and it turns out not to be true, shouldn’t be an immediate reason to call them “fluffy”.

The core of what makes one “fluffy”, is the act of being “willfully ignorant“. Which means that someone has pointed out that they are misinformed about something, has presented them with facts/details (often along with supporting documentation), and instead of looking over the information, doing their own research on it, and coming to their own conclusions – they automatically dismiss all of it out of hand, continuing to cling, almost without reason, to their original beliefs. Even when all evidence presented, is in complete contradiction to what they thought they knew.

No one expects anyone to take anything at face value, especially in regards to a long held belief. However it should be expected that one will take what has been said, and at least look into it. It’s true that one could probably prove almost anything using “stuff I found on the internet”, however that’s when one has to look to the type of resources that are being presented, and by what authority, or expertise that person has that is relevant to the topic they are writing on. Personal experiences are fine as well, however they should be presented as personal experiences (UPG), rather than outright fact.

Everyone is misinformed about something at one point or another, but it’s when one won’t even consider the fact that they could be wrong, that issues arise. It’s OK not to know something, however it’s not OK to completely ignore potential truths when they are staring us in the face.

edit – it’s probably worth noting that this is not a word that I use all that often, nor do I think it should be used often – which is also a bit of a pet peeve of mine, because I do think that some people use it too freely. I really am (in most cases) willing to discuss something for as long as necessary to help someone get whatever information they need about a particular subject. If I’ve hit a point where I start to consider someone to be “fluffy”, it means that I’ve given up hope, which thankfully doesn’t happen all that often. 🙂


(E) Eclecticism Within Neo-Paganism

This isn’t really a new post, I actually wrote it a while back, just never had anywhere to post it. I had come across an article, which truthfully I found appalling. The basic theme of it was mixing and matching to create one’s own path – which on the surface is fine…let’s face it, a lot of us are Eclectic and there is nothing wrong with that. However there is a right way to be Eclectic and a wrong way to be Eclectic, and unfortunately this article contained nothing that even remotely resembled the right way.

Creating one’s own path seems like a simple enough endeavor. You find something you like and you incorporate it into your practice… Easy as pie!!! Except it’s really not that simple, and there is one very important question we need to ask ourselves before we go any further… Do I have the right to make that practice my own? – is the culture or religion that I am drawing from, open to being appropriated by outsiders, or is it a path that is restricted only to members of the culture, or those who have met certain “entry” requirements (such as initiation).

I’ve touched on it directly in a previous post, however in most cases it’s a concept that seems foreign to many Neo-Pagans. The majority of the books they have read, have not only told them that “Wicca is whatever you want it to be”, they’ve openly encouraged that we take anything and everything that “calls to us”. So it can come as a shock to find out that not only is this not true, but doing so is extremely disrespectful not only to the people who are members of the cultures and religions we are drawing from, but to the very Gods which we claim to honor.

You may ask yourself why someone would willingly do such a thing, and the answer is three-fold. One as I’ve mentioned, the average book on “Wicca” or Neo-Paganism encourages such things, and (especially when one is just starting out) the assumption is that if a book is popular, that the author must really know what they are talking about. So there is no move (in most cases) to look beyond what that author says (or to question their authority to tell us such things), and in general what is written in these books is taken at face value. Two – we live in a society where there seems to be a HUGE sense of entitlement. We feel called towards something, an idea, a place, etc… and think that because we want it, it is simply there for the taking. So we go and take it, never realizing the damage that we are doing. Third is the fact that proper Eclecticism takes time – lots and lots of time. With instant technology all around us, we often assume that we should be able have whatever we want, whenever we want it. The idea that we might have to spend years of our lives pursuing the proper knowledge and experience is completely contrary to that expectation.

Being Eclectic the wrong way is simple – it’s like going through the drive-thru at your favorite fast food place. “I’ll take Wicca with a side of Norse and Celtic please…oh wait can you throw in a bit of Shamanism as well?” However doing it the proper way is much more difficult. It can (and does) take years, of not only studying a culture or religion, but in some cases actually practicing (or joining – if such a thing is possible) as a member of said group. The first thing you have to do, as I stated in the beginning, is determine if what you are trying to appropriate is even possible – Is the culture open (like the Norse) or closed (like many of the Native American ones are)? Is it a religion that is open to everyone (like Christianity), where belief in a thing, is all that matters; or is it one that has specific initiation requirements (such as Wicca), or purity standards (such as Kemeticsm), where the required practices are (in some cases) more important than specific beliefs?

If a culture/path is a closed one – you have two basic options. The first is that even though you feel pulled in this direction, you can do nothing more than admire from afar. It would be disrespectful in the extreme to take something that you do not have the right to take, or claim to be something that you are not, and so (at least in regards to this path) your journey ends here. The second option is to pursue proper entry/initiation into the religion or culture, if such an option is available.  In regards to cultures, this may not be possible, as there are many where you have to be born and raised in them, in order to be a member. In some cases you can be adopted in, but that’s likely a fairly rare occurrence.

Once you have determined if you have the right to appropriate something, that’s where the real fun begins. In order to successfully mix two (or more) paths, one must have an in-depth knowledge and understanding of that which they are trying to mix. This means that you actually have to study the culture or religion extensively, reading source texts, lore, whatever you can get your hands on. Talk to other members of said culture/religion, go to open circles, or temple meetings (if allowed), etc… This may seem like a lot, but how can you know if two things can be mixed, if you don’t know what it is you are mixing?  There is nothing more cringe-worthy than seeing a deity that has been taken out of context, or seeing someone who has mixed the Gods of one culture, with ones from another – with whom they were (from a historical perspective) always at war with. Not everything works well together, and if done improperly, you end up with a practice that is continually working at cross-purposes, or worse.

I noted it above as well, but since I tend to see this in relation to Wicca more often than not, I feel it’s worth mentioning it in a bit more detail as well. Each culture/religion has its own associated myths and lore. To remove a deity from its own context and try to force it to fit somewhere it doesn’t belong, is not the best way to start off a relationship. It’s rude, and disrespectful to say the least. The Wheel of the Year, relates to a specific God and Goddess – it is not ok, to randomly stick Isis, Freyja, Ra, etc… in place of the Lord and Lady. Even if one is soft polytheist, one should always be working with the Gods within their own context. On that same note being Eclectic doesn’t necessarily mean that one has to actually “mix” practices. In general there is nothing that prohibits us from practicing multiple paths, so it’s usually best to keep our practices separate anyways. If you want to follow Neo-Pagan practices and Asatru as well, that is great – but you celebrate the Sabbats on one day, and Charming of the Plow on another. If you are circling with the Lord and Lady, it’s usually not a good idea to call other deities into your circle at the same time.

If you take away nothing else from my ramblings, I would ask that you please remember this… while I can understand completely the feeling of being called by/to something, if we take something that we haven’t earned the right to, we are ultimately disrespecting that which we claim to love and honor. Life is not always quick and easy, but we come out better for it in the end if we take the time to do it properly. And with that, I’ll simply leave you with my favorite quote…

“Faith is a journey, not a destination.”

Righting the Balance

I’ve not posted in a while, and truthfully I’ve been apathetic in my practices for the last few months. There are a lot of really stressful things going on in my life and to say that it has gotten me down would be an understatement to say the least.

I had made plans in August to celebrate Lughnasadh (as it is one of the Sabbats that has the most meaning to me personally), however those plans fell through at the last minute, so other than a quick “moment of silence” type thing, there really wasn’t much to write home about.

Even though it is difficult at best to find anything to be thankful for at this moment, as Mabon approached, I felt called to celebrate it. I usually do my balancing ritual at this time as well, and that is something I am in sore need of, so it was definitely appropriate that I heed the call.

I can honestly say things didn’t start out so well, my celebration actually spanned 2 days (not by choice). I spent about 2 hours on Monday cooking a most awesome (if I do say so myself) feast, only to realize at the very last minute that I was mistaken about the date. That hubby fell asleep before it was done cooking should have been a sign that “something” was not quite right, but yeah… it was a definitely ‘Doh moment. But I ate it anyways and it was really good.

Last night I held my ritual and for one who hasn’t done much recently, it went fairly well. Hubby sort of interrupted once, which threw my energy off just a bit, but it all worked out well in the end. I feel a lot better today than I have. I faced a few things, things that I have known, but have not really ever spoken out loud, and in saying them have hopefully begun to heal. I’ve been broken for awhile now, and trying to fix me has been difficult, but I am determined to get myself out of this hole I am in… and last night was a good first step. We’ll have to see how things go from here, but at least now there is shiny ray of light, whereas before there was only darkness.


Well…unfortunately…this year my Ostara celebration consisted of a hasty communication with the Lord and Lady, while walking my dog. While it was also my oldest son’s b-day, my dad was also up for a visit, which pretty much ruled out any kind of actual ritual, since I am still more or less in the “broom closet” when it comes to the rest of my family, though at this point he may have more of a clue than he did. We spent the whole 4 days that he was here antiquing, and in one particular shop I found a little mini-book on Witchcraft from 1984 – very awesome!!! What wasn’t quite so awesome, was that as I was checking out, my dad comes up behind me and notices what I am buying. Other than making some crack about “arts and crafts”, he didn’t really say anything…I of course mumbled something stupid, and then let the whole thing drop (wishing desperately that I could sink into a dark hole somewhere). 35 years old, you think I wouldn’t care…

For those of you who are interested…here is a Balancing Ritual that I wrote last Mabon. The plan was to do it twice a year on the Equinoxes, though I obviously wasn’t able to do it this time.


The Equinox…day and night are equal, so what better time is there for balancing the elements within ourselves.

What you need:

* 4 candles…green for earth, yellow for air, red for fire, and blue for water.
* Representations of the Elements… earth (the ground if you are outside or a bowl of dirt), air (incense or a breezy day), fire (already present if you have the candles), and a bowl of water, you can also use symbolic representations if you need to.

Note: if you do not have any of the above items that is fine, while they are helpful, they are not necessary (and of course if something else works better for you in terms of symbolism, you are welcome to use whatever works best for you as well). You can always simply visualize the elements when the time comes, if you don’t have actual representations of them.


Find an quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed. Around your circle, make a small elements altar at each of the cardinal points, place a candle and the items at each one. The circle should be big enough that you can sit/stand comfortably in the center without disturbing the altars. When you have everything set up and are ready, ground and center, and then cast your circle. If you usually call the corners/guardians and invoke the Goddess, please feel free to do so. Once your circle is cast you can begin .

Stand in the center of your circle (if you feel called to do so raise your arms towards the sky) and say:

Spirit within me, Spirit without
Unbalance within me, unbalance without
Spirit within me, Spirit without
Bring balance within me, balance without

Take a few moments, meditate on the Spirit within us and the Spirit all around us. What are some things in your life that are making you feel unbalanced, spiritually mentally and physically?

When you are ready, turn to the East and say:

Air within me, Air without
Unbalanced within me, unbalanced without
Air within me, Air without
Bring balance within me, balance without

Take a few moments, take several deep cleansing breaths…feel the air as it enters your body and becomes a part of you, feel the air around you, take a few moments and meditate on the air that moves us. What do you need to move in your life, that will help to bring balance?

When you are ready, turn to the South and say:

Fire within me, Fire without
Unbalance within me, unbalance without
Fire within me, Fire without
Bring balance within me, balance without

Take a few moments, watch the candle flames as they dance and flicker, feel the warmth, look deep into the flame and take a few moments to meditate on the Fire that transforms us. What do you need to transform in your life, that will help to bring you balance?

When you are ready turn West and say:

Water within me, Water without
Unbalance within me, unbalance without
Water within me, Water without
Bring balance within me, balance without

Take a few moments and look into the water, see the ripples and reflections in its surface. Take a few moments and meditate on the Water that shapes us. What needs shaping in your life, that will help to bring you balance?

When you are ready turn North and say:

Earth within me, Earth without
Unbalance within me, unbalance without
Earth within me, Earth without
Bring balance within me, balance without

Take a few moments and feel the earth with your hands, feel the strong foundation it gives you, the security you feel as the earth cradles you in her arms. Take a moment and meditate on the Earth that heals us. What needs healing in your life, that will help to bring you balance?

Sit/stand quietly in the center for a few moments, reflect on the lessons of each elements. Feel each one connecting and flowing within, and without. When you are ready say:

Elements within me , Elements without
Now balanced within me, now balanced without
Spirit within me, Spirit without
Now balanced within me, now balanced without

When you are done, be sure to thank the God/ess and guardians (if you called on them), and then open your circle.

Full Moon

So it seems for the moment that flashes and mere glimpses are pretty much the norm for me. In truth this doesn’t surprise me much, as I am about as closed up (energetically) as a person can possibly be. I’m guessing at this point a whole pantheon could be standing next to me, and odds are I might not even notice…but I’m working on it. I’ve said it before, but it would help if I actually got something that even remotely resembled time to myself…but I never do. So anything that requires a bit of peace and quite…not working out so well for me at the moment, but I do the best that I can.

Tonight I went outside to honor the God and Goddess and to meditate a bit under the full moon. Though not warm out by any stretch, for once it wasn’t raining or too cold, so it was nice to be able to work outside. It was a bit cloudy and breezy, but otherwise a great night. So I found myself a nice patch of ground to sit on, set out an offering and tried to meditate. Something that immediately happened that I found interesting is that all my cats that were outside at the time, came over to where I was and formed a circle around me (my 2 females and 2 of my males). Three of them never moved once they took up their positions around me, the last one would wander over to me every once in a while, but then wander back to the edge of the circle they’d made.

I spent my time listening to the wind in the trees, and the sounds of the animals moving around in the night, and for the first time in a while was able to simply relax – if only for a few brief moments.