So…the full moon is upon us again, and as always she is truly beautiful – shining brightly in the midnight sky. It was clear, with only a trace of clouds tonight, and though on the chilly side, it was nice. Now if only I’d actually had the motivation to do anything. 😦
Life’s little stresses (ha!! Like not having a job, when you have a mortgage and 2 kids to feed is little.) have really got me down, and I’m having a really hard time climbing out of the pit I have found myself in. The things that used to bring me joy and peace…are nothing more than motions at the moment. There is little to no energy or emotion involved in any of it, and I miss it desperately. To be honest…I’m not sure how to fix it, and each Esbat and Sabbat that passes, only serves to remind me of what I’ve lost, and it gets harder and harder to even find the energy to continue going through those motions. I recognize that there is something broken inside me, but that it’s up to me to figure out a way to put me back together.
So tonight, I spent a few moments outside under the moon, just talking to the Goddess. Letting her know that I still love her as much as ever (because I do), even though I can’t seem to find a way to show it at the moment.